Reality kids TV~on your nerves all day, all the time

I’m a fake. I’m a fraud. I’m a phony.  I live on Front St.  I wear a mask.  I play charades. 

So now I must undress.

I yelled at my kid tonight.  I lost it.  I screwed up.  I may have even….*gasp* ….CUSSED! 

Does anyone else do this out there?  No? 

See?   I suck.

 to be fair, Big “A”  is known for instigating.  By golly, she pushes buttons I NEVER thought I even had.

She’s ADHD, she’s ODD, she’s a pain in the ass sometimes, but she’s my kid.  I love her.  Every day and every night, she provokes fights with family members, she screeches at the top of her lungs when it only takes a whisper.  She get’s mad at the stupidest things (just like her daddy does).  She’s thrown stuff, kicked the walls, and called me stupid and told me to shut up before. 

Out of the 4 kids, she’s the only one so volatile. 

Somewhere out there, my OWN mother is laughing her behind off getting divine retribution on me for all the times I was bad.

So what was the almighty infraction that set off this tweenager tonight?

 she got mad at little “A”  for taking her pillow, that is, switching her bed pillow, unknowingly. 

Now,  little “A” is cut from the same cloth as I am.  We could give a rat’s butt about what pillow belongs to WHOM.

But now, 12 year old, stands at the top of the stairs, screaming as if she is tied up, shot, beaten and stabbed.  Hitting her little sister, and making threats, telling her she hates her.

All over a pillow.

I am TIRED, young ladies!!! Sick and tired.

  If this is a conspiracy to KILL your mother, I must tell you.  Mother’s never die. 

 You can have me cremated and I will be in my little ashy box staring down at you from the curio cabinet, saying, “I’m still heeeeeere!”

I want everyone to know, that everyone most likely has screamed at their kid at one point or another.  It’s just that I’m trying so hard to be a good mommy. 

I should’ve had a clue when I brought Little “A” home from the hospital and her big sister’s reaction was to pull off her sisters tiny little baby socks and BITE HER FEET! 

What makes this so hard is that when these 2 knuckleheads are at peace they make fun of me when I’m trying to chastise them. 

Big A:   “look, look, little ’A'!  This is mom, this is mom right here!” 

 *makes funny face or stupid noise that is supposed to be an impression of me* 

Little A: “hahahahahahahahahahahaha!”

Then they high 5 each other. 

 So much for loyalty.

 

 

stuff I like(and don’t like) about men

Ohhhh ladies… what drives you crazy about men?  I don’t mean crazy in a bad way.  I love these things about guys!    Yep.  don’t need ‘em right now got a hubs, but enjoy them in the scenery, if ya know what I mean.

1)  The well dressed dude.  Cowboy hat optional~ Where do you come from and can I get a ride on your horse?  Any nice, in season, in STYLE, pressed, clean clothes that match. 2 thumbs up.  My hubby gets an “A” on this.  He’s the neatest, pickiest dresser around.

2)  The hair:  I love thin sideburns!! with a clean cut hair style. 

 

 It says, “I care about myself”  No ponytails!  You might as well call yourself “Sally” or “Sue” .If a guy  had a ponytail and dated someone, from the back people would say, Oh! two women!   and I’m not having that! 

Back in the 80’s there was something called a rat tail. 

Little known fact about hubby:  he wore one, and oMg butt ugly, OK?  He teases me about it, and says he is going to grow one again.  I said, ”when I see it, I’m cutting it off!  You have to sleep sometime!” 

Btw~ Sweetiegirlz says:  “Bald is beautiful”  (especially with a goatee)

 Ear hair, wild “staches” and full untrimmed beards, eww, eww and EW!

 

And speaking of funky facial hair I know, I KNOW. The soul patch is out of style but I LIKE them!   How bout a soul patch AND side burns!   aaaa-OOOOGA!

4)  “THE” sexiest job in the world.   I have a soldier but  Both uniforms are hottt baby.  Score 2 for my guy.

You see what I mean?  This guy can’t help but be amazing.  It’s the Uniform ladies.  If I had any sort of fantasy it would be a foot chase with a cute cop(s)  ending in being handcuffed.  Yowza.  

 

5) I’m prolly the goofiest woman on the planet , but I LOVE suspenders!  This picture is really not all that great, the pants and the suspenders should match and look better than they do here.  It’s my thing, I know.  Hubby thinks suspenders are stupid.

 

 

6) Hey, even BETTER, how bout a cop wearing suspenders??   Can he BE any cuter?

7) Well defined Chest and arms~  there’s something so protective about the way a man holds his woman !   It oozes romance.  Score again for hubby.  he keeps himself VERY fit, which is prerequisite for a soldier and great for the wife!  No man boobs, potbellies,  or love handles.

 

I just LOVE these guys!  They’ve made women swoon everywhere!

No not the actual guys! 

 

9) The icecream they make!  Here’s my favorite!