Note to you

If I had you, 

really had you

and you weren’t just hanging on some where in the sometimes fictional space of the World Wide Web.

I would tell you

really tell you

the following:

I’ ve  had a crush on you for months.  I think you are handsome,sensitive, kind,  and one of those type of men that women only dream of having, and the only thing stopping you from having what you want in life, is YOU.

I am 99 percent sure that you’ve thought and thought and thought about if you could be that person that my “notes” to you are for.

YOU ARE. hehe.

 and I am relatively sure  that You wouldn’t  think  of me as anything to write home about.  Men never do.

that even if you could be near me

you wouldn’t choose to spend a whole lot of time with me.   My sincere fantasy is that you would write me privately and say:  “you’re wrong!  I WOULD be there”  but hey what are the odds of that happening?

I’m not your “type”  I already know that.

I’m not anyone’s type really.  I consider that my curse in life too.  Everyone has to carry around some kind of baggage.

So I sit here

In my world

and you in yours

eager like a pet

to taste the occasional comment

you give me

to poke my head around your world sometimes.

All to wonder:  Would I be the one if we COULD be one?   

Sometimes it’s better to be blissfully ignorant of such matters.  So that’s exactly what I choose to do.  

Bliss. 

Now why was I here again?

With the notoriety of people from work suddenly knowing my blog address, when I have had this blog for waaaaay longer than I have been working, comes a small realization today. 

It’s me. 

 I’m holding back just a bit in my journaling because I think someone from work might not like what I say or might gossip about something I write here.  

 

 

 Well, it could be true. Someone might gossip.  But really today, I just don’t give a frak what people think anymore.

 

 

  Someone once said about me,  “with you, what you see is what you get.” 

It’s pretty much a spot on description of me, and that, my friends is why I won’t stop running my mouth, on the web.   lol.

  I got a lot to say.  It just doesn’t involve politics, or the economy or global warming, or anything else BIG.  Life is not that BIG. 

 

 

 It’s millions of us, living tiny parts of humanity that make it seem big.  What’s important to me to vent here in the WWW, may not be important to Joe Schmoe to vent about.  So Back down from Journaling, when it helps me so much to blow off steam?

  HA!  never.

  It’s me.  Journal, Photography, Life.

 What!  It’s not a rant, really.  just sayin’

 

 

Today,  I scared the shit out of my boss, without meaning to okay.  My boss reads this.  Hiiiiii boss.

  I did NOT mean to sneak up behind you at your desk and yell, BOO!  It just came out, I swear.

   I apologize okay? (I know I couldn’t stop laughing all day, but that’s beside the point)    

 

What I did  wasn’t nice.  Now stop saying you are going to “get me back”

 that scares me.

 

 

I did a boat load of work today.  I don’t know if anyone realizes what a boat load of work looks like, but I shoved papers like nobody’s biz today, and all I had to eat was my 2 peaches and some of those fish shaped crackers until lunch. 

 

 

 I felt sooo guilty eating Mcdonalds for lunch.  Coca cola is once again finding it’s way in me.  I can’t stand the guilt. gahhhhh!!!   *sipping Cola and ice…ahhh!* 

   Yes, and I took a nap again today after work, even tho Doug rolled his eyes at me and said we need to work out.   It’s all his fault.  He should have pushed me a little harder to go to the gym.  right? 

 

 

So then evening came and I finished watching Hell’s Kitchen and  that bachelor show “more to love” where the big dude chooses from all these “big” women.  And I just know the TV show is going to get “creative” and throw a few slim sexy women in there around week 5 or so just to be mean.  I mean this is the FOX network after all. 

 

 

I had to then fold about  eleventy billion clothes and clean the room. 

  While I was on vacation, Doug commandeered my little desk for his own computer and I had to tip my suitcase on the end and use that to hold my lap top.  Can we say “ghetto”?  geez

Around dark, I noticed that the kids weren’t coming in.  They were busy with their friends…chasing one of our dogs.

.   Then I had to help  catch Sugar, (our rat terrier)  who discovered that NO, she doesn’t really have to come inside when we say so, she can just run in really big circles around the neighborhood,  while we look dumb trying to catch her.  I swear she was smiling too.

 Trudy (the welsh corgi) chewed a chair leg to bits and bits and bits.  So now when we try to find a new home for her, we have to include the fact that she definitely has some damn beaver in her blood.  get it? damn beaver. (okay sorry) 

 

 

So that brings me back to bedtime, and I really have forgot what I was blogging for tonight.  In case anyone is reading this from work.

P.S.  enrolled one  kid in 8th grade today,  and one kid in  6th grades tommorrow..  countdown to school 14 days.  Yaaaay.