Well, it’s a photo essay of sorts. With a chick rant. I don’t know. I have a lot on my mind. Stay or don’t stay. It’s your choice.
But today started off pretty good. We went to Union Station and Crown Plaza again. I did something I don’t normally do on the weekend. I put on makeup…for him.
Him: are you making yourself all pretty?
Me: yup
Him: alriiiight!
No plans. Little A was still home recovering but off the strong pain narcotic, and eating and drinking almost normally and within cell phone reach, and supervised by Big A. sooo… we went.
We passed by the huge dining area reservable for parties and weddings and it was obvious something was going down that night.
After awhile the tables all looked like this: and of course, sweetiegirlz gets excited…even if it’s not my party, and I’m not going to be a guest.
Picture perfect “gonna float later” candles. hmmm…
A lot of wine at the ready. This doesn’t scratch the surface at how much wine there actually was being put in the bar though. nice.
This exhibit, though sounding promising, was NOT worth the 9 bucks EACH we paid to see it. It was more like going to a school field trip than an “exhibit”
Although we did learn a lot about the making of chocolate, the history of chocolate etc. It was soooo not worth it. We could have seen a cool movie for 9 dollars each.
In retrospect, we should’ve gone to see Andy Warhol’s art exhibit. The now deceased artist’s work is there until the end of november I think. Hmmm.
famous artist- or chocolate…
chocolate- or famous artist?
I know. we were dumb. I think I was being a diva because they would not allow cameras into the warhol exhibit. (you mean I can’t take pictures of his work and sell it on e-bay? darn.)
But as it turns out, this is as much as we could photograph at the chocolate exhibit too. the entrance. gahhh!
However, SG being the rebel that I am… just had to snap one of these cute little chocolate candy chairs.
They were kid size seats sitting in front of a candy box shaped television that showed videos about how chocolate is used or popular in other countries.
After the field trip, (i mean exhibit) there was a lady sitting at table with some gourmet chocolate coins and she gives us one. “okay, the chocolate of the day is ____________”
are you kidding lady?? You’re going to have to give us about 20 more of these just to make that tour worth the 18 bucks we just shelled out. lol.
Later, We also saw the HUGE model train exhibit that is a permanent and ongoing part of Union Station. I love, love, love to watch the kid’s expressions as they watch the dozens and dozens of working model trains there.
There is no possible way that I could photograph all the parts and details of what they have set up there, and because Christmas is right around the corner, they were setting up even more Christmas themed trains, such as the disney trains. (not pictured)
a horrible bird’s eye photo of the train set up from the 3rd floor balcony.
Hey Doug, I know we are going somewhere, but are we going together or separate?
Which brings me to the never ending soap opera of Renee and Doug, Doug and Renee. Gosh golly gee we had a great time today (seriously).
We didn’t fight. we didn’t argue. He didn’t complain once. He was generous.
Then…we went home, and I took a solid nap while he took little A to wal-mart to find a cheap costume for them. no problem there, right?
Trick or treat time. Little A and the man go off door to door while I pass the candy and take pictures. I’m happy.
They are happy??? Not long, and I’m talking less than 30 minutes, they return. Doug is walking up the sidewalk in front of little A.
HIM: “she’s an embarassment!”
Little A was frowning. she wasn’t happy, and after seeing all the families come and go with grins, laughter, togetherness, the attitude and the words of Doug hit me like a punch in the face.
In fact, I wish he would have hit me. I could’ve handled it better, than say…the same old sh–?
As it turned out, he was upset because Little A was too shy to go up to the doors and say trick or treat, and kept balking at it.
I could have told him that…the girlz have done that every year since the beginning of when they started trick or treating.
I told him that he just should’ve simply come home and that was that. She was tired and post surgery still. He didn’t have to put her down verbally.
from there, he and she argued out front while I was passing out candy and trying to take pictures
I mumbled something about being “through” trying to pretend at happiness and went in the house. Later, when I am trying to talk, he is yelling at me, with kind of “what did I do?” mentality.
Me: I am not yelling at you. why are you yelling at me?
I’m tired. I have NEVER in my life seen someone so incapable of enjoying anything, ever.
Literally when I write my ongoing battles with Doug on this blog, I get anxious about whether or not I’m going to come off as some kind of whiny little beeotch.
For any dudes out there struggling to understand my post, I will say it like this.
My marriage has been like buying a new car.
After you get this new car, you determine that there are problems with this car, problems that don’t pop up every day, BUT…
You just know there is something wrong with the new car. It looks beautiful on the outside.
People comment on how great your new car is. But deep down inside you know…the car is a lemon.
It ain’t driving great at all. It revs the engine at the most inopportune and inappropriate times. You might even take the car to a mechanic multiple times, but the car is still a lemon…and the longer you keep it, the more UNDRIVEABLE it is.
A few people who used to comment here on a regular basis have come and gone, meaning that they don’t come by and comment on anything, even the regular, innocuous postings, or the photographs.
surprisingly it’s the women who are still here comiserating with me.
I’m not a man basher, a Doug basher, or a hater.
I’m a 44 year old woman who got married and stayed with it when things really sucked and now I’m paying for it, and the gurlz are paying for it with this sort of up and down rollercoaster, walking on eggshells, tolerating his verbal abuse b.s.
At this point if and when I do divorce, that will be it.
I will teach myself to simply “be” and exist as a person, for my own value. Because I simply don’t think these two people here can get along anymore.
SO THIS IS WHERE WE WENT Kansas City
Things cool people say.....