Pssst… Wanna have fun? Make a baby with someone

Will the fun never end?  I have this thing about the Maury Povich show.  This guy has made a fortune finding the real baby’s daddy for Lord knows how many women!  Is there really that many women screwing around randomly with men? and no birth control?  Gahhh! What does that say about the next generation?   Well Maury also has a fun link now.  Make your own “Maury show” baby.

Just click here. 

 

Upload a pic of yourself and whoever you wanna make the baby with.  Follow the instructions.  It’s a HOOT.   Then again, I have WAY too much time on my hands.

 

    

 

Photo Essay~House Diva

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chump Chess

When I was young, my older brother taught me how to play chess.

 

So he could beat me at it.

 

I mean, who wants to play a game where you can’t win?  He changed the rules a lot.  He cheated.  That was why I never saw him playing my dad! 

 

 

Good thing I secretly knew he was cheating.   It would have took all the fun out of finding ways to let him win.

 

My brother definitely underestimated my early womanly powers of perception.  So many men do.

The Ugly Man~Part 6~Germany

 The guy i met at the club,  was cocky.  He was ugly.  He told me he liked my dancing, that I was pretty. 

 

 What was my phone number?  (I don’t have a phone) 

 What unit are you in? (I don’t know) 

 What barracks do you live in then?  (I don’t live anywhere fella!) 

 

 He politely grabs my elbow as I’m walking off.  

 Okay okay… then do me one favor? (Maybe!)

 

 He scribbles a name and number on a napkin, and hands it to me. 

 

When you think of me will you call me?  (*thinks* yeaaahhh….NO.) 

I put the napkin in my pocket. Obviously eventually I called him. 

 

 

That’s how it started.  Me and him.  Him and me. 

 We were doing okay together.  We partied.  We got along. 

 

 

 We slept together. 

Along the way, I’d gotten a new roommate and one of the old ones moved out. The new roommate was just as silly and crazy as we were.  We were wild children living adult lives.

 

 

  Sometimes we all at one time or another slept in the one room with our boyfriends/dates. 

 

One morning I opened my eyes to laughter from my roommates. 

 My dude was sound asleep next to me.  I asked them, what their deal was…

 

 

“We covered his ass up… he was mooning us!”

   We busted out laughing. 

 

 Not long after seeing him,  I got two shocks of my young life. 

 

 A)  He’d given me VD 

B) I was pregnant with his baby.  

Both effectively ended my relationship with him.  

 I was pregnant at 19. 

 I was a single mother in THE ARMY of all places. 

 

 

 Abortion never crossed my mind.

  Adoption never crossed my mind. 

 I had no family to counsel me as to what to do.

 

 

I wanted the baby.  I had a good job, with great benefits.  It would mean the end to my partying life that was for sure. 

 

 

Sweetiegirlz was unceremoniously a grown woman.

 

 

  Per military regulation back then, I had to move out of the barracks before I delivered the baby. 

 

 

I had to pay for where I lived. 

 The Army found me a place in a small apartment in downtown Karlsruhe, Germany. 

 

 

It was on the 15th floor of  a high rise.  Back then, I wasn’t given consideration for family quarters like single parents are today.  It was just one more hardship I was to endure. 

 

 

 I was an English speaking white gurl thrown headfirst into a German ocean.  Sink or swim. 

 

 

 Learn German or starve. 

 

 

Find your way to work, or get disciplined and put out of the Army. 

 

 

It sucked.  Life sucked way too hard.  I had chosen a very hard road.  

 Even though, I hadn’t thought of having an abortion, someone else had.

 

 

 My First Sergeant. (who is essentially the boss of you from day to day, besides the Commanding Officer or C.O.)  He pulled me into his office one day.

 

 

  Apparently he had heard that the baby’s father was a black man. 

 

He began to tell me quite seriously that ”mixed children” would never feel like they belonged in either race. 

 That I should abort my child.  That my child would never be accepted in either race and that it was just plain wrong.

    Did you ever in your life want to punch someone so bad and couldn’t? 

 

 

   I was livid.   Thank God I had the guts to go to the Commander. 

 

 

The First Sergeant had relied on the fact that I might be too afraid to tell of his faux pas. 

 

 

 Well, to tell a soldier to abort her child on the basis that the kid was black and white racially was exponentially wrong. 

 

 

To do this in a Unit where the Commander was a black man married to a white woman…well my First Sgt. was about to be taught a very hard lesson about being a racist.

 

 

  He got a permanent letter of reprimand in his record, which would follow him through his whole career.  Indeed I caught up with him later when I was stationed in Jersey, what do you suppose was the first thing the guy mentioned?  His letter of reprimand!  2 years later he was still bitter! 

 

 

Back to living alone, in Germany. I had to learn to get on a bus to the strassenbahn, to another bus, or to skip all that when I could afford it and take a taxi.

 

 

  Unfortunately, I would have to also buy a car and get my German driver’s liscense.  My hoopdie (broke down used car) was a German Made Ford Taunus, sold to me by word of mouth by a German guy who dealt primarily with Military.

 

 

  It cost 400 dollars. 

 When I started it, blue smoke would come out, but it got me around. 

 

 

 Getting a Driver’s liscense in Germany was hard.  I didn’t pass the first time.  There were lots of rules to learn.  much more than the U.S.  Driving next to the strassenbahns, and going around traffic islands marked by strange symbols was a definite challenge!  I finally did it though.  It was do it or die.

 

 

  My apartment was a high rise.  In the bottom of which was a small store that sold some groceries, fresh deli and cheese, and that sort of thing.   I learned fast how to pay, how to ask what is what, how to read ingriedients on boxes, what things tasted good etc. 

 

 

 

 My apartment was so empty it echoed.  I had furniture loaned to me from the Army.  Every single penny I now made was for the baby’s clothes, crib, diapers, and rent and utilities.  The baby’s daddy had all but disapeared but would reappear later cuz he was such a proud daddy don’t you know?

  He was the other person who suggested an abortion.  

No Worry Pill

Here’s my anti-worry pill for the day.  When I was in Medical Assistant school, a very nice young man adopted  to the states at age 14 from Russia, told me whenever he got ready to stick us with our practice injections. “think of baby bunnies”. 

 

 He said he couldn’t stand causing anyone pain, even the necessary stick of a needle!

 

    The bible tells us to think of a lot of different stuff rather than worry.  It takes a certain amount of inner strength to do this, a certain amount of practice, but it works…. it works.

It’s the best Anti-worry pill I know.

 

 

Philippians 4:8
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

 

 

 

TRUE~

 

HONEST~

 

JUST~  The Hamster Ball (link)

PURE~

Lovely~

 

 

Oh and what the heck,  here’s a couple for my friend: 

 

Cool Stuff that made the list~Part 5~Germany

 

Lest anyone think all I did in Germany was booze it up, I will say that I managed to rake in some culture, passed on to us by the military, the roomies, and the many people who’d come and gone through glorious Karlsruhe.

  Here are some favorites but by no means an exhaustive list.  There’s some traditions, some values, and some food.

  It is what makes us all different in the great Human Race. 

 Even go so far as another STATE in the U.S. and you find differences in food, values, and traditions. 

But to experience some in Germany, and to know it’s people intimately for 2 whole years, I would not trade that for anything.

 

As simple as it may seem, the common Kinder Egg, is a plastic egg surrounded by chocolate shell.  inside the plastic egg a toy that needed to be assembled.  I collected these things in ziplock bags for a long time.  Twas I think Turkish Prawn who brought this back to my attention awhile ago, bringing me back down memory lane.

 

 

 

 

 

I remember the WOW factor upon learning MOST of cabs in Germany are Mercedes Benz.  They are always sparkling clean.  You can always catch onealmost anywhere.  Back when I was stationed there in the 80’s one of my German friends also ordered food Via Cab!  Amazing.  The cab took the food from the restaurant to her apartment.  WoW.

 

Volksmarching.  People hiking through scenic trails in forests and such.  There were also competitive marches that brought medals for winning.  As a part of a military unit, we were sometimes encouraged to march as a unit.  It was called “Mandatory Fun” as in you will have fun.  Good excercise though.

 

 

 

 

The Strassenbahn or Stadtbahn, one of the means of public transportation usually only in downtown.  Pretty easy to learn the routes and there is always one not far off.

 

 

Jager Schnitzel mit Spatzel~need I say more?  yum.  Spatzel are german dumplings, the schnitzel pork or veal with gravy and mushrooms, that is sour cream on top.  I am salivating at the memories….Gah!

 

 

Here’s another endearing collectors item for us military bratz.  The endless collection of Smurfs.  Hundreds to buy.  Did i keep any?  Nah!!  My kids now ask me what they are. 

 

 

The unmistakeable smell of a Beer fest going on under lighted tents, during Oktober fest.  Beer and wurst.  Though i never went to one, it’s a must do tradition if you go….

 

 

Every Christmas the Kris Kringle Marts materialize in the big city.  The air is colder than chilly and every one can’t help but be in the Christmas Spirit.  It’s romantic and charming and part of German tradition I will miss.

 

 

Yes, these little nut crackers are also collectables.  They are affordable.  You don’t really want to use them for cracking nuts because there’s so many to collect and keep pretty. 

 

 

The deutchmark was our friend in the 80’s!  At one point the exchange rate went WAY up to almost 4 DM to every american dollar.  Now, we got the Euro, and well, the dollar ain’t doing so hot, now,  I think it’s got the flu… See the tiny coins that say one on them, (look like pennies, called pfennigs.)  well in the eighties, those suckers were worth LESS than a penny.  Do you think people would throw those on the ground in the US if we had a coin that was worth less than a penny?  Hmmmnn….

 

 

Little taste of Rinky dink Night clubbin’ in Germany.  Sardines dance. Wooooo…go Sweetie, go Sweetie  it’s your birthday…it’s your birthday!  Sorry I got carried away.  Germans love american hip hop.  After clubbing in the 80’s you could go downtown and buy half a roasted chicken and french fries (excuse me pomme fritz) for about 5 dollars or less.

 

 

 

 

These guys look sooooo decadent don’t they?  Well, the Germans actually use way less sugar than you might think in their stuff.  It was good too.  About one of the only things i felt like eating when i got pregnant.

 

 

 

Don’t you know, authentic Black Forrest Cake is made with Liquor?  It took me awhile to put liquor and cake in the same boat and it was for me an aquired taste, but really rich dessert.

Watch out for chocolates too,  I was very UN pleasantly surprised by trying some of these type chocolates without a warning by any of my roomies. 

 

Another collectors item.  There are so many sizes and varieties of these that a collection is much needed, if you can afford it.  Drink out of a plastic cup and save these for your shelves.

 

 

The German curtains are mostly all like this.  They’re beautiful and fancy and expensive.  We had some for awhile.  Pretty huh?

 

There’s an ongoing joke about Military people that get stationed in Germany.  The joke is, you will either return to the USA with a baby,  or a Shrank!  A Shrank is a highly crafted huge piece of furniture as seen below and they run in the thousands of dollars.  Many military, both single and family will pick one up and have it shipped home to the states for later home furnishing.  Guess which one I ended up with (twice)???  That’s correct two times in Germany, 2 babies!

 

 

Red Balloon

WE start the day, a “we” and then…

it becomes a HE  and a ME.

 

A giant red balloon of happy. 

 He pokes a pin in it with the smallest of infractions by us, either real or imagined.  He pokes a hole in it with the words *GD* *MF’r*  all over some lemonade,  a yellow traffic light,  the kids…

 

It doesn’t matter what it was about.

 

All the air goes out of the balloon, and I’m left with my empty happiness…not having the strength to blow that balloon up again.

Post Card Trade Update!!

Thankyou to “L” the author of blog/way too much information who sent me this one in the mail, from the Ozarks, (ARK/MO area)  Thank you for the much needed smile today, L!  You remembered to include an uplifting message!  I like that scripture very much.

 

 

You, also can join in THE “TRADE”.  It hasn’t caught on real good yet, but I think people are just so worried about being stalked these days… It’s a shame.  But here’s the idea.  TRADE me a Postcard!  I will send you my address, You can send me yours if you want, or not, but I am collecting postcards from all over the world, through wordpress. 

So far:

I have the Ozarks (USA),

Alberta, Canada

Japan

and Africa is on it’s way.  

There’s waaaaayy more to be collected.  I promise not to stalk, harass, or otherwise pass on your addy to anyone.    In fact “L” didn’t give me her addy, and I was fine with that.   When I get the cards, I put them lovingly in their new home, my photo album.  My gurlz get very excited when I tell them we got one in the mail… 

Sunday Photo Essay~Stop Signs/After Rain/ Staged shots

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At the stop signs, you might find a little life, and laughter.  Here’s two of the stop signs I enjoyed today.  The boys were trying their best to drum up biz for their car wash.   Silly dances, faces, yelling….when they saw me pull my camera out they gave me their best poses.  “Now go to the car wash!” one of them shouted.  Unfortunately, Doug had already gave our car a wash. 

The other stop sign is a dog’s day out.  It’s a familiar sight in the summer.  A doggie riding shotgun on top of the world.

 

 

Green.  It takes the rain to make the green.  I have a tree in my front yard with these, on it.  They certainly look way more succulent after the rain.  (and I don’t even know if they’re edible!  They’re probably flowers!)

 

A few of the historic homes here on the post…  They were built in the 1800’s and are still being used today by service members families.  This shot I wanted of the sun hitting the backs of the houses, but the fronts are way prettier..

 

The staged shots~  goofy, cheesy, I know.  But with a message.  Can you tell the message I’m trying to portray in them?  If not, it’s back to the drawing board for me. 

Zzzrppttt! Rewind!

 

  Lovey Dovey Kissy Huggy….  Who ARE you? and what have you done with my husband? 

 

He’s super nice tonight. He likes the new tight jeans, the skimpy shirt I bought, although I think Iook like a fat cow.

 Hmmmnnn….  I wish the gurlz were as nice.  As we very cautiously left the house during a rainstorm.  We knew we’d be heading to the mall and out to eat in the same basic direction as the storm, hence, we really didn’t need to be out tonight. 

 

 

 

But Big A wanted to buy her school shoes, carefully scouted out by her at only one special store in the mall (of course).   Trouble was, she (nor anyone else in the car) wanted to listen to mom about how miserable it would be shopping in an outdoor mall in the downpours! 

 

 

We park in the parking garage and walk up the stairs, sans umbrellas.  All around us people are walking with their umbrellas up slopping through the rivers of water that are now running down the mall area.  Jeopardy clue please??  Answer:  What are bad ideas, Alex?

 

 

Doug decides to drive us around the block to the specific store we need and drive around the block until he sees us in the doorway of the store, signaling that we got shoes, take us home! 

 

 

 

Inside the store, Big A gets a brain fart and looks dazed and confused.  All of a sudden she doesn’t know WHAT she wants anymore.  I look at her grab her shoulders, and mouth the words.  WHAT-SHOES-DO-YOU-WANT? “Focus!” I hiss.  She finally picks some black converse, tries them on and I pay the man.

 

Then, once said shoes were in hand, she wanted to go to other stores, better patronized during say,  a sunny day when we all weren’t starving to death.  We returned home through torrential rain on country roads.  She still had attitude because her shopping was cut short.  I told her we could always return to the mall, that the whole mall was not going to explode before tommorrow.  Her mouth kept on…..

 

 

Once we got home, the sun was already out at our house.  Go figure.

Anyone want a grounded jailbird, tweenager type, runs good, needs work?