The goodish, the badful, and the ugliest

 

     ” Today was a mixture of the good, the bad, and the ugly. ”

 So, this morning started out okay. 

 Getting little A up for school was a  cinch, since she got about eleventy hundred hours of sleep. 

 She somehow managed to have a meltdown of epic proportions last night, with the catalyst being her sister of course.  Or maybe it was her PMS already starting, who the heck knows. 

 All I know is I would trade 20 teenage boys for these 2 girls.  At least all I would have to worry about would be finding a lock for the fridge. 

  anyway, little A yes, she got mad, and as you may know, she has some powerful singing lungs.  For some strange reason, going to her room had no affect on her.  she screeched and squalled and was in hysterics for about 15 good minutes.  Make that 15 looooonnnnng minutes. good minutes are something you enjoy.

  I was really concerned about her throat at that point, that she may cause herself bleeding on the surgical site.   after trying to reason with her a 2nd time, she went off again, choosing not to eat dinner, and she fell asleep for hours, until I went up around 11 and got in bed with her and hugged her. 

 ”lets make up”  i told her,  “i love you, let’s start over tommorrow”   and indeed tommorrow (today) it was a different child I saw. 

 calm. 

 obedient.

  finally.  

The good:  At work was chili cook off day! 

 3.00 bought you a taste of every chili there, (18!) 

 plus a whole  bowl full of your favorite one, plus drink, along with crackers, fritos, and anything else you think might go on top of chili.  The annual event is really fun for all of us who work there. 

  Well the bad, here goes, not much except for a very sore throat, for a third day now. 

 No doubt Big A’s virus passed on to me, maybe.  Right now, my eyes are burning and my throat raw. 

 (not the chili, since i didn’t choose a spicy one to eat and I did NOT sample 18 chilis) 

 I can’t call off work tommorrow since I have the boards (groan) again.  Once a month, I must sit still (really hard) and not talk (OMG) and not joke around (futile)   for 3 hours.

  I am what’s known as the board “recorder”  One of the aspects  of my job is getting the facts down on paper basically, and assisting the board members with their job. 

   So today, I went to work sick and tommorrow I already feel worse tonight…or something like that!  crap!  I don’t know what I’m saying, K? 

  In the afternoon, today of course came the horrible news of the shootings I posted about earlier. so yeah,  really really ugly. 

I’m speechless.  I had tears in my eyes for this. 

 This guy was an American born person with a Muslim name, who did not want to deploy to Iraq, and made derogatory remarks about the war.   You just know there’s gonna be some hating going on in an already hateful world. 

   Like I said before this shooter was a pathetic coward.   (special place in hell….as I’m so fond of saying)  so that’s about it. 

crazy day.  Looped into today was a lot of people saying,  “I NEED THIS NOW”  and randomly questioning things that I had no control over.  Proof positive that snowballs roll downhill….or something like that.   

 here’s hoping your night is a peaceful one. 

 

♥SG

Fort Hood shooter gives Army a Huge black eye

        

    And everyone stationed on Military posts on American
Soil will never forget today.  

“ Eleven people plus an attacker were killed and 31 were wounded after a gunman opened fire at Fort Hood in Texas on Thursday…” photo and news courtesy of:  CNN

CNN plays continuously throughout our facility on post, and as word spread here in Fort Leavenworth, KS ,  I think we were all in some form of pain for those victims and families.

    We empathized.  We immediately felt for those dozens of Soldiers and the feeling was multiplied to the nth degree because this person who wore the uniform,  I won’t even dignify him by calling him a Soldier, he was a wolf in sheep’s clothing.   

The fact that he was angry that he was being deployed to Iraq… just shows he was the world’s worst coward. 

 There are single mothers with infants  who have been deployed to Iraq and have served their country with dignity, and guess what?  They aren’t coming home the same person inside…

 All the speculation by the News media who gave this person the benefit of the doubt, ”oh he was stressed…” la de da…give me a big fat break! 

Doug and I spent the better part of the night rolling our eyes at the T.V.     All evening we heard only one person who made any sense, and that happened to be a veteran who’d been there done that, in Iraq.    

  Listen closely America.  Listen to your warriors cry loud.   They need your support more than ever.  

 Rest in Peace Fellow Soldiers. 

My husband is a Soldier and a medic.  We have such a peaceful post here.  Our families live in peace. But  Soldiers DO train for events such as this.

  Mass Casualty is something NO one wants to think about ever!  But Soldiers train for it, and for that,  we are all grateful. 

      *photo of Doug participating in a Mass Casualty excercise.

     Our hearts are appreciative toward the entire medical community of Fort Hood and surrounding communities who administered first aid to these Soldiers. 

Pimping out my crib! Part 2 of my dollhouse renovations

On November 4, since last time, I did this:

I got a strong start on the bathroom, first placing linoleum from  Home depot (one square= 1.69) white to brighten up the shadowy interior of the doll house. 

 I started cutting the paint samples from home depot (they were free) as “painting” the walls. 

 also made one wall white,

wall two china blue and

 wall 3 a combination of both colors. 

I had ordered a “pop out” kit from E-bay for the bathroom furniture for 7 bucks.  It consisted of very thin wood “pop outs” that have tabs and holes, but I ended up having to hot glue them a tad anyway.

 

 

 

  When they were together,  I used an old small jar of gloss white paint that Doug had in the garage and painted the bathtub and toilet white.  

 I am a very clumsy model maker (even taking my time)  , so my attempts at the tub and toilet were marginal at best.

 

 

  the kit also came with a dressing table and sink that I elected to put in the kitchen. (you’ll see why later, I may change my mind)       Anyway, I finally removed the towel bar, and used the towel for a bath mat, 

 

 and toilet paper handles from where the original owner had them in the attic of all places! 

 who wants to go to the bathroom in the attic?  lol.

 

  So, far from done, but here is a “mostly” done,  without the window dressings  in the bathroom.  The mini- jar of “bath salts”  Is actually a tiny bottle of cut amethyst I got from the science center in Florida years ago. 

 stop back by once in a while,  for more “pimping out my new crib” at the link at the top of the page. 

especially sweet night

           Me,  cleaning, quick swipes of trash assembled around big A on the computer desk.

 her: “don’t touch that…oh.

  that was my snot [rag]“  gah!!!   

  tonight’s been a real diversion from the normal nightly routine.  We as little A’s parents, got invited to her choir musical.    One thing about little A.  she loves to sing–even post surgery, that gurl would not miss her concert!    She promised to lip sync if her throat got to hurting much. 

 

 

 

 

 

      We got to see the Beatles for free, oh wow!

 

 

      and Elvis.  Elvis isn’t dead you know.  He’s alive and well and he just played tonight.  He sounds better than ever too.

Along with being good on my new adjusted caloric intake and food preparation plan  (NOT a diet) 

I went over to Starbucks and had a bran muffin with 2 percent milk for breakfast. 

 I had an apple, a cheesestick and 3 slices of lean smoked deli ham.  I drank water allll day.  not a coke in sight.  

  This morning was especially sweet.  You know if you are reading this blog much that Sugar and Prince, my two dogs do not get along at all.  well, I got up to find them both laying on the couch with big A like this:

 

well, there IS hope for this family after all.  If they can get along…..

Think of it this way…

RE: bad days.

        Before you get all ornery and junk, just remember, it really could be worse!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My so called office life

blinking cursor night.   Monday was pretty much like all the other mondays except I didn’t go thru burger king drive through. 

 I didn’t have a coke for breakfast. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 ” one study discovered that drinking one or more soft drinks a day — and it didn’t matter whether it was diet or regular — led to a 30% greater chance of weight gain around the belly.
” Doctor Maoshing Ni, health.yahoo.com

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 I sat at my desk having had 3 hours sleep last night again.  Sleep comes at a high price in my house between Doug snoring and now Big A having a severe earache/throat virus.  She woke up at 4 a.m crying  and asking for medicine.   She also stayed home from school.

  I sat at my desk looking down at my little cup of cottage cheese, and enjoying my apple, and then thoroughly loving my ice water all day.   (not, but lets just say I did)  

  I reminded myself that I don’t want any of that weight back on me that I lost.

   My body did kind of a tantrum thing where it gave me a caffeine withdrawl headache and then I was as irritable as ______________(you fill in the blank, I’m at a loss of words right now, and be creative) 

My co-worker talked to herself the whole day.  srsly.  I thought she was losing her mind for a second, but then I didn’t factor in the air system at work blowing out non stop rushing air at the speed of sound, on top of us no less, and we didn’t know how much dust and yuk was in that air, so  after awhile, the air velocity took it’s toll on me. 

  

by the time we called in a work order, it was already time to go home.  I slept and slept until 7 p.m. I was grateful to hear relative silence, but then I had big A on my ass again about the football game.  (dang that gurl is stubborn)     I will take the air blower at work over Big A’s screeching, anyday. 

  My sugar baby was there for me after work.  She always is:

   Tried and true, and flea-less  her, she and I are buddies to the core.  

  Big A and Doug, went to her doctor appointment in the morning and big A has a virus. 

 She has laryngitis and sounds something like she smoked a whole pack of  filter less cigarrettes.

  We went through this whole deal today where she called me no less than 8 times at work today, begging me to go to her friend’s basketball game after school.

   Well, we have had a rule since the beginning of the “A’s” days: 

 no school?  , no after school activities! 

If you’re sick enough to stay home, you don’t suddenly get well at the end of the school day, well enough to hang out.

   So big A calls with the same schtick all day:

Me: Personnel, [sweetiegirlz speaking] may I help you?

Her: Mom.  Can I pllllleeeeeeaaaaassssseee go to the game?

Me: No.

 There are as many variables on this conversation as I can think of.  Big A will make the ultimate CEO of a corporation or power lawyer one day.

  She promised me everything but her first born child to go to that game, but i stuck to my guns.  NO. 

  Eventually I got bored playing and tired of hearing my co-worker chuckling,

so I referred

her to Doug’s WORK number.

 I know. I know…she probably didn’t even know she had a dad.  It was a groundbreaking day for all of us.  

Thank God for Excedrin migraine strength.

Never Say DI…see? I almost said it!

  I can prove I was once skinny… lol.    see?  not the lady in the picture (that’s my mother)  the baby.

     I wasssss skinny.  Besides.  I’m not looking for skinny, I’m looking for fit.  buff.  shapely.  niiiiiiceee.

  I’m 20 pounds away from that goal.  20 freaking pounds.  and that is what I got. you see.  from trying to prove that you can have your cheeseburgers and coke and also…shhh….diet.

Yes, I did work out all those times I said I did.  I worked out and ran, and lifted weights, and yes, some of this weight is muscle weight.  But I lost close to 15 pounds in 8 months.  

 So I carry weight well, but i have stopped going to the gym and now flab is once again starting to take over…just a little. 

 but I don’t want it to take over a lot.  I am not giving in… EVER.   I got so many warm fuzzies when people at work were saying,  “you’re losing weight aren’t you?”  

 ”why yes, thanks for noticing.”  because if you are a woman, you know.  It’s especially hard to work off those thighs and that gut.  We deal with stress. 

Stress helps us keep it all on baybeeee. 

 we deal with a monthly craving, that makes us crave salt, sugar AND grease, all at the same time.  And like a junkie, we must have this, or else we will be even more bitchy than we are once a month!

   

  and then, when I skipped the gym for almost a month!  gah!!  can anyone say, “square one?” 

So, went for a 3 mile evening walk this evening.  Doug invited me.  The weather was fallish and dry and the leaves we plowed through like children,  at least the ones on the sidewalk.

  When returning, I made a list of foods I like, and thanks to Jean over at jeanhasbeenshopping,

I discovered I love the new 100 calorie yogurt parfaits from yoplait. 

 They went on my list after grocery shopping today.  I got caramel and lemon. 

  I also got gordon’s fish filets (which are delicious)

 also in tilapia and butter/garlic fish.

 and uncle bens 90 minute rice. my favorite is the santa fe, flavor.  the best flavor of all of them.

but both are  void of fat and big on taste. 

 fruits and skim milk string cheese are high on my list of snacks. 

 snickers marathon meal bars at 290 calories are good meal replacement bars with a low glycemic index.  Well what is a low glycemic index you say?  it’s a low natural sugar count in foods. 

 and if you need this particular element to your diet—especially if you are a sweet tooth, dieting will suck.  It seems everything has tons of sugar in it these days.

  well, 20 pounds.  that’s my goal. 20 pounds. or even a tad more if i can get away with it.  gym attendance daily.  stress management.  owning my self.

 owning this victory over daily battles with “HIM”  that is what’s important to me. 

    Okay, that and cheeseburgers.  But i’m gonna have to forget that for awhile.  A long while.

better early than when it’s supposed to be? better late than never…

  

    So what’s thanksgiving?  In some stores, you wouldn’t even know.  They go straight from Halloween to Christmas.  lol.  What do you think about that? 

_______________________________

One Spooky night… 

   A radio DJ was bored.  So he opened up the lines to anyone with a good scary ghost story. 

 The very first call lit up his switchboard and the DJ put him on the air. 

 ”Do you have a good scary ghost story to tell us?”  the DJ asked, “Go ahead” 

 ”Well,” the caller started, “  It was a still and moonless night on Halloween, and four of my friends and I were camping somewhere we never should have been…” 

 ”Go on”  the DJ said.

  ” all of a sudden, the wind whistled and blew the flames of our campfire terribly, as we all put our pieces of bread on long sticks.

  Soon,  the bread was golden brown on one side…

then,  We TURNED IT OVER!! 

 it didn’t take long before the other side was done.”

  “Excuse me” the DJ interrupted the caller, “But I don’t see how that is the least bit scary!  I asked  people to call in if they had a scary ghost story!” 

  “OH!”  the caller said, 

 ” I thought you said TOAST stories!”

Andy or Chocolate plus a *high chick rant*

    Well, it’s a photo essay of sorts.  With a chick rant.  I don’t know.  I have a lot on my mind.  Stay or don’t stay.  It’s your choice. 

   But today started off pretty good.  We went to Union Station and Crown Plaza again.   I did something I don’t normally do on the weekend.  I put on makeup…for him.

Him:  are you making yourself all pretty?

Me: yup

Him: alriiiight!

No plans.  Little A was still home recovering but off the strong pain narcotic, and eating and drinking almost normally and within cell phone reach,  and supervised by Big A.  sooo… we went. 

 We passed by the huge dining area reservable for parties and weddings and it was obvious something was going down that night. 

  After awhile the tables all looked like this:   and of course, sweetiegirlz gets excited…even if it’s not my party, and I’m not going to be a guest. 

   

  Picture perfect “gonna float later” candles.  hmmm…

      

 A lot of wine at the ready.   This doesn’t scratch the surface at how much wine there actually was being put in the bar though.  nice.

   

  This exhibit, though sounding promising, was NOT worth the 9 bucks EACH we paid to see it.  It was more like going to a school field trip than an “exhibit” 

 Although we did learn a lot about the making of chocolate, the history of chocolate etc. It was soooo not worth it.  We could have seen a cool movie for 9 dollars each.

    In retrospect, we should’ve gone to see Andy Warhol’s art exhibit.  The now deceased artist’s work is there until the end of  november I think.   Hmmm.

  famous artist- or chocolate…

chocolate- or famous artist?  

  I know.  we were dumb.  I think I was being a diva because they would not allow cameras into the warhol exhibit.  (you mean I can’t take pictures of his work and sell it on e-bay? darn.)   

    

 But as it turns out, this is as much as we could photograph at the chocolate exhibit too.  the entrance. gahhh!

  

   However, SG being the rebel that I am… just had to snap one of these cute little chocolate candy chairs. 

  They were kid size seats  sitting in front of a candy box shaped television that showed videos about how chocolate is used or popular in other countries.

    After  the field trip, (i mean exhibit)  there was a lady sitting at  table with some gourmet chocolate coins and she gives us one.   “okay, the chocolate of the day is ____________” 

   are you kidding lady??  You’re going to have to give us about 20 more of these just to make that tour worth the 18 bucks we just shelled out. lol.

   

Later, We also saw the HUGE model train exhibit that is a permanent and ongoing part of Union Station.    I love, love, love to watch the kid’s expressions as they watch the dozens and dozens of working model trains there. 

   

      There is no possible way that I could photograph all the parts and details of what they have set up there, and because Christmas is right around the corner,  they were setting up even more Christmas themed trains, such as the disney trains. (not pictured)

    a horrible bird’s eye photo of the train set up from the 3rd floor balcony.

   

Hey Doug, I know we are going somewhere, but are we going together or separate?

     Which brings me to the never ending soap opera of Renee and Doug,  Doug and Renee.  Gosh golly gee we had a great time today (seriously).

  We didn’t fight.  we didn’t argue.  He didn’t complain once.  He was generous.  

 Then…we went home, and I took a solid nap while he took little A to wal-mart to find a cheap costume for them.    no problem there, right? 

     Trick or treat time.  Little A and the man go off door to door while I pass the candy and take pictures.  I’m happy.

  They are happy???  Not long, and I’m talking less than 30 minutes, they return.  Doug is walking up the sidewalk in front of little A. 

 HIM:  “she’s an embarassment!”   

Little A was frowning.  she wasn’t happy, and after seeing all the families come and go with grins, laughter, togetherness, the attitude and the words of Doug hit me like a punch in the face.  

 In fact, I wish he would have hit me.  I could’ve handled it better, than say…the same old sh–?  

 As it turned out, he was upset because Little A was too shy to go up to the doors and say trick or treat, and kept balking at it. 

 I could have told him that…the girlz have done that every year since the beginning of when they started trick or treating. 

I told him that he just should’ve simply come home and that was that.  She was tired and post surgery still.  He didn’t have to put her down verbally.

 from there,  he and she argued  out front while I was passing out candy and trying to take pictures

I mumbled something about being “through”  trying to pretend  at happiness and went in the house.   Later, when I am trying to talk,  he is yelling at me, with kind of “what did I do?” mentality.  

Me:  I am not yelling at you.  why are you yelling at me?

 I’m tired.    I have NEVER in my life seen someone so incapable of enjoying anything, ever.

 

 Literally when I write my ongoing battles with Doug on this blog, I get anxious about whether or not I’m going to come off as some kind of whiny little beeotch.  

For any dudes out there struggling to understand my post, I will say it like this. 

 My marriage has been  like buying a new car. 

 After you get this new car, you determine that there are problems with this car, problems that don’t pop up every day, BUT…

You just know there is something wrong with the new car.  It looks beautiful on the outside. 

 People comment on how great your new car is.  But deep down inside you know…the car is a lemon. 

 It ain’t driving great at all.   It revs the engine at the most inopportune and inappropriate times.  You might even take the car to a mechanic multiple times, but the car is still a lemon…and the longer you keep it, the more UNDRIVEABLE it is. 

  A few people who used to comment here on a regular basis have come and gone, meaning that they don’t come by and comment on anything, even the regular, innocuous postings, or the photographs.

 surprisingly it’s the women who are still here comiserating with me. 

  I’m not a man basher, a Doug basher, or a hater.

  I’m a 44 year old woman who got married and stayed with it when things really sucked and now I’m paying for it, and the gurlz are paying for it with this sort of up and down rollercoaster, walking on eggshells, tolerating his verbal abuse b.s.

   At this point if and when I do divorce, that will be it. 

 I will teach myself to simply “be” and exist as a person, for my own value.   Because I simply don’t think these two people here can get along anymore.

 

 

 

a couple simpler posts exist below this one!

Sunday photo Essay~Random photos from union Station

     We didn’t start out knowing what we wanted to do.  Sometimes that is the best way to take pictures.

SO THIS IS WHERE WE WENT  Kansas City

The Bus Stop

 

 

*Plants in the fountain* Westin Crowne Plaza Hotel

 

 

*one of the upper hallways at the union train station*

 

 

*Me taking advantage of the good light in the hall.

 

 

*a candid photo of a father and children looking at the model train exhibit in Union Station.

 

    A picture Doug took of me in some nice lighting.

my halloween post is the post below this one.