Andy or Chocolate plus a *high chick rant*

    Well, it’s a photo essay of sorts.  With a chick rant.  I don’t know.  I have a lot on my mind.  Stay or don’t stay.  It’s your choice. 

   But today started off pretty good.  We went to Union Station and Crown Plaza again.   I did something I don’t normally do on the weekend.  I put on makeup…for him.

Him:  are you making yourself all pretty?

Me: yup

Him: alriiiight!

No plans.  Little A was still home recovering but off the strong pain narcotic, and eating and drinking almost normally and within cell phone reach,  and supervised by Big A.  sooo… we went. 

 We passed by the huge dining area reservable for parties and weddings and it was obvious something was going down that night. 

  After awhile the tables all looked like this:   and of course, sweetiegirlz gets excited…even if it’s not my party, and I’m not going to be a guest. 

   

  Picture perfect “gonna float later” candles.  hmmm…

      

 A lot of wine at the ready.   This doesn’t scratch the surface at how much wine there actually was being put in the bar though.  nice.

   

  This exhibit, though sounding promising, was NOT worth the 9 bucks EACH we paid to see it.  It was more like going to a school field trip than an “exhibit” 

 Although we did learn a lot about the making of chocolate, the history of chocolate etc. It was soooo not worth it.  We could have seen a cool movie for 9 dollars each.

    In retrospect, we should’ve gone to see Andy Warhol’s art exhibit.  The now deceased artist’s work is there until the end of  november I think.   Hmmm.

  famous artist- or chocolate…

chocolate- or famous artist?  

  I know.  we were dumb.  I think I was being a diva because they would not allow cameras into the warhol exhibit.  (you mean I can’t take pictures of his work and sell it on e-bay? darn.)   

    

 But as it turns out, this is as much as we could photograph at the chocolate exhibit too.  the entrance. gahhh!

  

   However, SG being the rebel that I am… just had to snap one of these cute little chocolate candy chairs. 

  They were kid size seats  sitting in front of a candy box shaped television that showed videos about how chocolate is used or popular in other countries.

    After  the field trip, (i mean exhibit)  there was a lady sitting at  table with some gourmet chocolate coins and she gives us one.   “okay, the chocolate of the day is ____________” 

   are you kidding lady??  You’re going to have to give us about 20 more of these just to make that tour worth the 18 bucks we just shelled out. lol.

   

Later, We also saw the HUGE model train exhibit that is a permanent and ongoing part of Union Station.    I love, love, love to watch the kid’s expressions as they watch the dozens and dozens of working model trains there. 

   

      There is no possible way that I could photograph all the parts and details of what they have set up there, and because Christmas is right around the corner,  they were setting up even more Christmas themed trains, such as the disney trains. (not pictured)

    a horrible bird’s eye photo of the train set up from the 3rd floor balcony.

   

Hey Doug, I know we are going somewhere, but are we going together or separate?

     Which brings me to the never ending soap opera of Renee and Doug,  Doug and Renee.  Gosh golly gee we had a great time today (seriously).

  We didn’t fight.  we didn’t argue.  He didn’t complain once.  He was generous.  

 Then…we went home, and I took a solid nap while he took little A to wal-mart to find a cheap costume for them.    no problem there, right? 

     Trick or treat time.  Little A and the man go off door to door while I pass the candy and take pictures.  I’m happy.

  They are happy???  Not long, and I’m talking less than 30 minutes, they return.  Doug is walking up the sidewalk in front of little A. 

 HIM:  “she’s an embarassment!”   

Little A was frowning.  she wasn’t happy, and after seeing all the families come and go with grins, laughter, togetherness, the attitude and the words of Doug hit me like a punch in the face.  

 In fact, I wish he would have hit me.  I could’ve handled it better, than say…the same old sh–?  

 As it turned out, he was upset because Little A was too shy to go up to the doors and say trick or treat, and kept balking at it. 

 I could have told him that…the girlz have done that every year since the beginning of when they started trick or treating. 

I told him that he just should’ve simply come home and that was that.  She was tired and post surgery still.  He didn’t have to put her down verbally.

 from there,  he and she argued  out front while I was passing out candy and trying to take pictures

I mumbled something about being “through”  trying to pretend  at happiness and went in the house.   Later, when I am trying to talk,  he is yelling at me, with kind of “what did I do?” mentality.  

Me:  I am not yelling at you.  why are you yelling at me?

 I’m tired.    I have NEVER in my life seen someone so incapable of enjoying anything, ever.

 

 Literally when I write my ongoing battles with Doug on this blog, I get anxious about whether or not I’m going to come off as some kind of whiny little beeotch.  

For any dudes out there struggling to understand my post, I will say it like this. 

 My marriage has been  like buying a new car. 

 After you get this new car, you determine that there are problems with this car, problems that don’t pop up every day, BUT…

You just know there is something wrong with the new car.  It looks beautiful on the outside. 

 People comment on how great your new car is.  But deep down inside you know…the car is a lemon. 

 It ain’t driving great at all.   It revs the engine at the most inopportune and inappropriate times.  You might even take the car to a mechanic multiple times, but the car is still a lemon…and the longer you keep it, the more UNDRIVEABLE it is. 

  A few people who used to comment here on a regular basis have come and gone, meaning that they don’t come by and comment on anything, even the regular, innocuous postings, or the photographs.

 surprisingly it’s the women who are still here comiserating with me. 

  I’m not a man basher, a Doug basher, or a hater.

  I’m a 44 year old woman who got married and stayed with it when things really sucked and now I’m paying for it, and the gurlz are paying for it with this sort of up and down rollercoaster, walking on eggshells, tolerating his verbal abuse b.s.

   At this point if and when I do divorce, that will be it. 

 I will teach myself to simply “be” and exist as a person, for my own value.   Because I simply don’t think these two people here can get along anymore.

 

 

 

a couple simpler posts exist below this one!

Work and Werewolves and His brooding self

World spinning today with work, and werewolves, and flappers, and woodstock performers.

 

   i know.  doesn’t seem like those things go together does it? 

 It did today.  The only caveat to the halloween costume contest was the flurry of papers hitting and leaving my desk.  Otherwise it was awesome.  A lot of people dressed up. 

 

 

  I would’ve had at least a couple pics but I was soooo busy coming back after being home with little A that I didn’t have time to sneeze.

  The weather is a little cold right now.  So much rain has passed over the last days. 

 

 

Today, was the day when leaves scattered like a crazy stampede of miniature people, across the roads.  While driving,  it may be possible that you are sometimes surprised by the sheer amount of leaves blowing like so many empty brown bags,  into your driving path.

  It was  a day to stay on your toes.

 Wind blew piles hither and yon (what does that mean anyway?)  they landed all over our porch, trapped by the “corner effect” of how our house and garage meet. 

 

 

 Anywhere you look, there are “nature made” huge piles of leaves in one place and then you glance around and some part of the leaves have blown completely bare on another part of ground!  Pretty strange.   

 

 I do love fall when it’s like this.  I love the sunshine with it tho.  today was just gloomy. 

 

 

not much else is going on.  It was nice to be welcomed back to work today.  It was nice to be missed.   I AM MISSED!!! YAY.  (“you’re back!”  *smiles*)

 

 

 if  for nothing other than my work value, I was missed for the last few days…I’m ecstatic about that.  It means that I am competent at my job. 

 A lot of people asked about little A.

 

 

    So it’ s Friday.  We DO have to stay in with little A.  I know that.  But can it be anymore boring?  Doug has been a little lot distant from me. 

  He’s brooding.  He’s cleaning and muttering under his breath, and cursing at times.   I don’t know how much more miserable he can be. (or I can be) 

 

 

I’m asking him a hundred times.  what’s up with you?   Even if he said,  “I hate your guts, Fuck you”   it’s better than him saying “nothing”.  

  Because of course, we as women know that “nothing” most definitely means something.  Especially when he’s acting like this.   

 

   but then “nothing” became “I just have a lot on my mind” and then that became, “I’m stressed at work, I have a ton of this and that to do.”  and the inevitable:

I have to go in for a few hours tommorrow (Saturday morning)  

 

I knew there was a something to that nothing.  So I let him be. 

 and I  watched  Pink Panther 2  (which is better than the first one, I’d watch it just for fake accents, sooo funny) 

 Little A snuggled up to me on the couch while we waited for Big A to come home from the dance.   

Here comes she with a glowing headband on, looking…..well….glowing!    Surprisingly, she makes curfew.  but then…

 

Her:  Can I like, yeah, can I go back over to  Sara’s?

ME: no, you have a sore throat, you need to stay in.

Her: you suck I hate you.

A very bloggy day

  Is blogging like high school?

 

That went thru my mind today as I looked at how some people get literally dozens and dozens of comments on the daily, and some people only a few. 

 

 The bloggy content isn’t really different from blog to blog, at least from the ones I have seen.  

 Well, a lot of people don’t post negative blogs, I know that.  Maybe that is the equalizer?  i have quite a few negative blogs.  because I’m such a positve person don’tcha know?  *wink wink*

 

  and how about commenting?  If people comment, do you then feel obligated to reply? 

 

and  then if people reply a LOT or vice versa, do you then feel obligated to blogroll them?

 How about if the person is new to your page?  do you then feel wrong if you don’t go visit theirs and leave a comment? 

 

 cuz if blogging was like high school, friends,  I’d be like a whisper in the hallways.  No one even NOTICED me in high school, but I will tell you this. 

 Those who got to know me were pretty close. 

 

     Anyhoo.  I’m still journaling.  I’m occasionally *chick ranting*. 

I’m still doing once a week photo essays.  I still try the occasional humor (is this thing on?) 

 and sometimes I post about an interesting news or event.  that’s it. 

 I’m not trying to win ratings, or stats or whatever.

 

 I just happen to like company.

 

 

   So Thursday morning.  My last day at home with little A.  Her dad will stay with her tommorrow.  I don’t as yet know if it was good for me to be off all week.  I’m sooo lazy now even though I for sure did more work than if I went to work. 

 

 

  This morning brought a wonderful downpour and it was definitely pillow weather.  Until I heard…

“Mom,  can you drive me to school?”

what?  nooooo!!!! agh. 

 

Me:  what time?

Her: NOW.

(apparently she hadn’t noticed I was wearing only ___________)

 

Yes, and the weather outside was really nasty.  especially since I drove her to school in pitch dark, pouring rain and then discovered I was driving with daytime running lights on the whole time.  How I did not get a ticket is beyond me.

 

 

     So yes, I’m sad today.  I’m a tad angry. 

I had an intrusion on my computer which then in turn forced me to reinstall everything…

EVERY thing. 

 

 

 Some childhood pictures were lost that I hadn’t uploaded to WordPress yet.  I’m really upset about that.

 

I had to go thru the whole thing with getting on the phone with some guy in India (thankyou DEEPAK) and I was on 2 HOURS with this person, reinstalling virus prot. and yada yada and nothing would work, so I had to start from scratch and aggghhh, it’s such a pain in the ass! 

 

Any way,  the rain, yeah.  it made it all just a little better.  because little A and I slept like til lunchtime.  and just falling asleep with that rain pounding on the roof, made me unconscious lickety split, to all of the  potential azzzzwipes in the world.

 

 

  I have work tommorrow (yay Friday)  I will not be saying yay when I get my lightweight paycheck tho.    

 

So the man came home brooding again.  His eyebrows were bunched up and he was frowning, legs tucked under him on the couch.

 He stayed late at work again. 

 kept his hugs to himself again.

  “what’s for dinner?” again.  

 once I brought it to his attention that being alone all day sucked and that now that he was home,  I still felt alone, he apologized and hugged me.

   then went upstairs to watch WRESTLING.   

okay then.    At some point I went up too,  little huggy kissy thing going on. I figured i would kickstart him a little.

 

  “Renee, I am trying to watch this”   Okay then. strike two.

 

  At another point I went upstairs again….you guessed it.  He’s snoring to beat the band.  

 

 

Steal a bath and a new pair of pants while you’re at it! and other thoughts

 

 

“For the love of God, can I please PEE?!” 

  and so I find myself topping off a weekend with this unlikely and frustrated request to one of my kids who enters my bedroom/bathroom area  at will, after her bedtime. 

 

 

She, the greatest procrastinator of all time can drag out a meal to one and a half hours and 5 courses–each one the same.

 

  They hate the start of a school week *snickers*   This amazing weekend where everything clicked, just relaxed and enjoyed the changing of the colors, because next week, it’s rain, rain again. 

 

 

The truth is, I am so eager to get through this winter, so I will be closer to moving to Texas to be with my older daughter and settle in to a new job, a new home, (hopefully, no more moving!)  a new life.

 

 

 Last night I was driven out of my bed by my gassy husband, only to land on the couch downstairs, where Sugar insisted on taking up the middle, and oh yeah,  I was tipsy, so I slept hard and had old lady bones pains the next morning.

 

 

  Hey no one told me a girly wine like barefoot zinfandel was so punchy!  I thought something was off when the movies we were watching from blockbuster suddenly got extra funny…

 

 

 So yes,  the man and I were in Wal-mart today.  I was looking for bargains  to work on my doll home which I started on.  If you’re interested, you can follow the renovations by clicking on the link at the top of the page:  “pimping out my new crib”

 

  

 I did a couple things this weekend and I will update as time goes by.  but anyway I digress. 

We’re in Wal-mart where we find ourselves in the clearance aisle, which is in a far far corner of the store. 

 

 There’s a man there with long, nasty, middle of the back ponytail, leather jacket, dirty jeans with a hole in the butt, and he’s moving like a freight train through the aisle. 

 

 

 I watch him put something in his pocket from the shelf, and I tell Doug.  Doug then moves into the next aisle where he sees skanky dude unwrapping some other item from it’s box. 

 

 

 Shortly I tell wal-mart lady about skanky man, who by now is gone like the wind. 

 

 

 Now, I can tell you, I have a long history of retail experience both as a cashier and a stocker, (and YES at a Wal-mart too. *giggles*)  and you know what?  I couldn’t STAND to see people get away with this kind of BS.

 

 

  I’d like to tell you that I ran outside, tackled skank man and shoved the shoplifted item down his throat, but i didn’t.  I wanted to. 

 I told Doug, if he only knew how many people shoplifted

 on the daily

 from the CVS in California where I worked.  ugggh. 

 

 

 

   So then there was like this little boy around 7 years old selling baked items outside walmart to support the wrestling team of his school. 

he’s holding a plastic dish with a few pennies and nickels in it and that’s all.

 

  “Scuse me ma’am but would you like to buy something for my wrestling team?  It’s for donations, you can even pay a penny if you want…but a good donation would be a dollar” 

  awwww ….isn’t that cute?

 I whip out a 5 dollar bill and walk over to the table to pick out a few goodies.

  cute kids can  sell me mud on a stick. 

 

  So here’s the mom smiling, taking the 5 dollar bill away from Junior and adding it to the HUGE plastic tub of other cold hard cash and I mean it was a ton of money.

  I was flabbergasted. 

 Junior went back to his post by the door with his container of a few pennies and a nickel or so.  dang. 

  I just got suckered i think. 

 

If you wanna see a sample of hilarious photos from real shoppers at Wal-marts across the U.S.  scroll down to my other post!  this had Doug and I practically in hysterics.   the original web site is posted in the post itself if you want to see tons more.  It’s a must see, trust me. 

one a.m. again thoughts

Once again One a.m. thoughts are here.  Not because I want them to either.  Because I drank too much caffeine today and tonight.  I’m crashing and burning here, people. 

 But before the final crash, I give to you…today

.  27 degrees this morning.  I had intended to shoot Doug on his bike…(okay that didn’t sound right.)

  I intended on taking pictures of Doug on his bike.  

  27 degrees and an overcast cloudy day later, yeah, a few snow flurries too.  the kind that melt on your windshield instantly.  but this is what I got:

 

 

 

 

 

I’ve done way better.    Way….   but ya know.  He isn’t going anywhere, and I really doubt that this weather is going to be this cold from now until winter. 

 

 

 In fact, I KNOW it will be mid 70’s again soon.  we’re just too close to fall still and not close enough to winter for this cold spell to last,   so I will have the opportunity to  do his portraits soon enough.

 

 

   So we went indoors to the Art museum.  where he was psyched until well,  about the first 2 rooms.

 

  Then he starts moving faster and making comments again. (we’re you surprised?) I mean I didn’t listen to anyone’s advice that commented on the last weekend, but, to be fair to myself,  his stat answer to where to you want to go?, is usually:  ” I don’t know”

 

So, he’s winding up: ”I’m allergic to something in here”

 (more on that later) 

 Yawning and fake yawning.  

 ”Let’s go, we saw this one…” 

 sitting down alot, not interested.

 and then when we do leave,

 Him:  “finally!”  

 

Okay.  I didn’t freak.  Not until we went to lunch, and I freaked out when he kept putting his hand in the picture I was taking.  gah!! 

ass.

 

 

I mean the combination of overpriced food, and me letting that name slip off my lips and he was back. 

 back to Hyde, from Jekyll.

  I had to sit there and slowly chew my food after he gulped his down, and he refused to talk to me the rest of the lunch.  I had to look at all those smiling couples in that place.  some kissing in line.  some conversing,  some laughing and smiling.

  

My brooding statue sitting beside me.

 

 

Me:  (in the car on the way home)  “I’m not in love with you.”

Him: I’m not in love with you either.

 

So we kind of hashed everything out on the way home, (including him telling me all I want him to do is come with me so he can drive.  hellooooo…pretty sure i can drive myself)

 and once home,  I ate way too many of those chocolate chip cookies.  watched COPS and America’s Most Wanted.   and did 3 loads of clothes.  Babied Sugar.  and that was my Saturday night.

  I hope yours was exciting.  I hope yours was wonderful and romantic.    I hope.

Sunday Photo Essay~ You can lead a man to the art museum, but….

 

  We went here.  The Nelson-Atkins museum of Art, in Kansas City, MO. 

 admission: free.

  Parking 5 bucks. 

 enlightenment: priceless. 

 Unless of course, you drag your husband along. 

Consider this the funny preview before the movie you came to watch and I’ll get back with you in the morning with s’more photos, K?

 

 

“scuse me sir?  Do you have any Grey Poupon?”

 

“NO?  Oh.  that’s because you are a stunning replica of a real human dressed in classic retro guard uniform.”

we had to look reaaallly close. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Doug had to do his own check to make sure…

 

 

Well well, what do have here? a nude statue outside in the sculpture garden?

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, honey… a-h-a….a-h-a…funny…

 

 

this sculpture must’ve  been made in honor of brooding husbands everywhere.   

  says, Doug:  “If I was on a field trip right now, I’d be the naughty kid” 

      

 

 

They call it “BAD” mitton. 

 

 

 

So, I’m thinking of getting a great shot of this cut glass and silver vase…

 

 

 

but….

 

 

a time out works for me too…

 

Do not taunt the OCTOPUS

Work was hustle again.  Boards,  award ceremony,  then…feeling puny.   gah!! took the last 3 hours off.  against my better judgement.  But I’d rather rest then get really really sick. 

 Someone came in to the office yesterday, forcefully coughing with fever etc… I hate when people do that, but he was a Soldier, and I’m not so much a germaphobe. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~seriously, I made some good enchiladas tonight.  How do I know they are good?  the MAN will always comment like this:

How did you make this?

As if I “accidentally” just happened to make some great food…lol…and that I haven’t been cooking for about 25 years.   btw, i take that as a compliment from him.  if he follows it with:

this is delicious

then my ego might make my head explode.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Big A

 

 (Yes, please.  Visit her today/tonight. 

 Love on her. 

A girl with a lot to say.

  She’s been waiting a long time to say it to more than just her mom. 

Hey, can you blame her?  Teenagers never like talking to their parents, but gravitate toward others:

 

Maybe you can help her solve this mystery that’s been rolling around in her mind.

www.bigasjournal.wordpress.com

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An email blurb from Big A’s school yesterday:

“at last count there were 75 kids absent from school due to illness…”

 I think at this point, they need to close the school for a day to detox.  What do you think?

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well what the frak?  Monday night football, and Brett Favre night apparently, but that’s beside the point.

  There was a point in the game where a penalty was called for….TAUNTING?  

Are you friggin kidding me?    Now, oops I let it out the bag,  Sweetiegirlz does not know much about football, but I enjoy watching it.

 

I just can’t believe that “taunting” is a penalty offense in a

 big- bad -man- sport- like football,   and in hockey, they get to beat the shit out of each other.  gah!

–sissies!

now, “octopus taunting” …there’s a real penalty. Ha!

 

 

 

 

 

There wasn’t any Pie either

Look closely at Little A in this Picture.  She’s now a contributor to the “hormone swim” in our house!

  That’s right.  Now there’s 3 of us who have 3 different “times of the month”  hehe.  Poor DADDY!  At any given time,  one of us is likely to be at or near our “P” and omg it’ll be a shell game to find out which one is, and which one isn’t, won’t it?  

  Little A who turns 11 in just 2 weeks has just gotten her first “P” and by golly she called me at work this morning, just to ask if she could stay home from school.  (of course)  

  I’ll say this much for her, never underestimate Little A’s determination to have fun despite her uh…circumstances. this in part why we ended up at Octoberfest on post.  Not a great fun time.  Not a table full of pie slices in sight. 

 Doug, who is back from his training this week reluctantly agreed to come with.    Despite having great ads it was definitely lamer than last year.

  I mean we all really had a fun time last year, and this year it was soooo darn quiet.   We waited in line for 30 minutes so that little A could climb the rock wall (photos to come)  and another 3o so that she could bounce on a bungee cord for 5 minutes. 

 another 15 in the food line, to discover that we didn’t want to wait in the food line,

another 15 in the bathroom waiting for little A and finally we gave it up and went home, after grabbing the one cool free thing for the kids that was there,  a  real wood birdhouse kit, made by Home Depot. 

  Most of everything was money money money.   

 Doug did not feel good.  the high pollen count was screwing with his allergies, making him extremely cranky.   That is why I didn’t burst out in tears when the first words out of his mouth after not seeing me for 2 days were:

“You forgot to put the trash to the curb.  I knew you would forget.  Now the trash will be all big for a week and I don’t care because I won’t be here next week to see it!”

followed by NO kiss, and NO hug.  Just an indifferent silence.  

 

 

I didn’t feel great either.  I got the flu mist today.  After 20 years of not getting a single flu vaccine!! mind you.   I don’t know what made me do this.  I never did believe in flu vaccines.  So sure enough, later this afternoon I started also feeling that initial soreness and irritability that goes with a virus lurking.  

I did manage to click off some photos.  There’ll post later. 

It is 11 p.m.  I have a headache, body aches, and have to go take something now.  I hope your friday night was at least awesome. 

Dave would’ve taken the Highway

I spent my Friday with Dave… 

 

Oh and Buster was there too. lol. 

   Because we were 20 minutes late for the movies this week, and because Doug wouldn’t go in the movies LATE even tho I told him that 15 minutes of the 20 was most likely previews…he wouldn’t

.  “It’s not who I am.” he said, ” I hate walking into a full movie theatre”      So we played games at Dave and busters:

  which if you are not familiar with, is a HUGE dinner, games and cocktail place.  (do not think chucky cheese,  think a casino without the gambling, only cool games) 

Was I being difficult that night?  Probably.  but even our date was roller coaster ride-ish. 

   For one,  his “money” situation had him counting pennies and stressing over 20 bucks worth of chips.  Yes, I said 20 bucks.  

  For the rest of the weekend, he says, we can’t do anything that costs money… (I didn’t see that coming did I? hehe)     

After Dave’s we got an icecream as big as both of my fists…each.  and went home.  ahhhh well, so much for romance.    He was in bed and snoring by 10 minutes after10 p.m.    Even on the WAY home,  I gave him shit about the way he took home:  Please.  study this wonderful professional map I made below and you tell me:  which way did He take home?

 Now I’m quite the fan of living.   If you are not from here, as in a lot of out of the way podunk places, there are roads that just might have to be driven by the locals.    and K5 in north eastern Kansas is one of them!    It’s plenty exciting alright.  It has plenty of these:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And though there was a full moon there was plenty of fog  everywhere:

 

 

 

Throw in these in your rearview, belonging to impatient somebodies who actually knew the road… 

 

and that 2 lane highway with the no passing zone, and fog, and curves and hills with drop off vantages became the ride of :

“phuck!  why’d you have to take this way?  You’re scaring the phuck out me!  dammit slow down! ”

 

and then Doug, who’s been known to mumble under his breath when I get mean,  balled up his eyebrows and whispered stuff under my radar all the rest of the way home.  So much for married dating… lol.

Could You ever Relate to this?

I’m relatively sure it’s too much for my brain right now.

Today just kind of melted into tonight.  I don’t have a mood really right now.  Am I reminiscent? girly? moody?  Who the hell knows what this is called?

  I know whatever it is, it gets intensified with my ipod glued to my ears. 

 

 

 

 

“Youre listening to Delilah on  Kansas City’s 98.1 KUDL…. ”"

http://www.delilah.com/content/peopletomeet.html

and with your dog laying across your feet (YES THE ONE WHO WAS SPRAYED BY A SKUNK,  I have unconditional love for her) 

 and your little girl bringing you fresh baked bread  with a little hot dog inside that you taught her how to make.

 

 

(she always did have a 6th sense for what people really need)

 

 

and,  life is a kind of faux  bliss… because you’re forgetting that your husband is watching Thursday night wrestling, and you two just are not connecting, and you’re lonely, and you want someone to kiss you anew…but you’d never admit that to his face.

 

 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’m not gonna write you a love song….

 

Head under water
And they tell me to breathe easy for a while
The breathing gets harder, even I know that

You made room for me, but it’s too soon to see
If I’m happy in your hands
I’m unusually hard to hold on to

…If your heart is nowhere in it
I don’t want it for a minute
Babe, I’ll walk the seven seas when I believe that there’s a reason to
Write you a love song today
Today

SARA BAREILLES/LOVE SONG

 

And you’re grateful for only one thing today, that he went grocery shopping and bought Halloween Oreos, the kind with the orange frosting. 

 

And you think of the things you wish you could still do… like dressing up in a formal gown, having some killer heels on and dancing with someone tall and maybe you won’t ever see that person again, but just for once they hold you tight and tell you that you are beautiful…

(if you were here in my area,

 

would you volunteer to be that dancer?)

 

 

(If you’re a chick do you know where I’m coming from?)

 

 

The last time I got to dress up like this, it was the military ball,  2002.  and we left after the dinner, and before the dancing…  

 

 

  You think of how summer is officially over for 2009 and you wish you had an ocean nearby to visit for that last “hurrah” but you don’t. 

 In fact you have one of those long tiresome weekends where your husband is neglecting you. 

There’ll be no camping. 

no barbeque with friends, no partying.   

 

 

 It’s those times you realize:  His personality is “Sunday Morning”  and you are “Saturday Night”