Intrusive Thought Night means wishing I could “Click” ahead

 It’s a blinking cursor night.   One of those nights where it’s hard to define how I’m feeling. 

 For the next few months are to be “ juggling- balls -in- the- air” kinda months. (or if I don’t play my cards right, bricks in the air.)

  For one,  I have applied for jobs in the area where I’m moving shortly.  Being able to finesse all this timing of job, moving, kids in school, him getting orders to actually go…. ugh!  

 I have applied for 6 jobs of which are all modest salaries but comparable to what I do if not higher. 

 My supervisor said that I have a good resume. 

 The timing and the waiting comes in when I do get called for a job, and I may have to leave sooner than Doug does when he gets orders. Sooner by a few months.  This is not a bad thing really.

 One child wants to leave immediately with me, and one does not. (can you guess which child wants to stay? lol)

 

Big A is SERIOUSLY balking at sharing a room with her sister!

 

  You see, there is a temporary apartment close to my older daughter’s apartment. 

If I moved sooner than Doug, I wouldn’t have furniture until the movers come and get it and move it from here, because the Army can’t move things unless the service member themselves are moving.

  Probably 3 months later I’m guessing, because we weren’t due to move until June.

 I’ve done worse for myself before,  though. 

 WAY worse. 

 In all, job security is worth the hassle of going there early.    That’s the bottom line.  I’ve made sacrifices for this Army life for a long long time.  Now it’s time for the Army to work around ME!   

   I don’t think I will be moving again once I get where I’m going. 

Doug already knows this.    

 

Why am I so bent on moving early?  I’m not actually.

  I could just stay and then take my chances on when we will get settled, what jobs pop up then.  But problem is,  to get a government housing like we live in now,  we’d still have to wait in a temporary place anyway…on the waiting list.

  I am just anxious to get all that “waiting” and job hunting over with.    You have no idea how anxious…

 

In a sense, I am super excited.  I want a lot more for my life than this small rural Kansas area has to offer.  I’m so happy to soon be within arm’s length of my grown daughter.    

 

 So then,  I came home early from work today. *again* sigh.  I wasn’t feeling well.  headachey and all that.

 

 I slept and then spent the better part of an hour putting the Christmas tree back together after it kept falling apart, and falling over, and leaning, and bare and and and…One part of the stand was missing so he duct taped it to something to keep it up. 

*here it is lit* 

  When Doug put it up,  he well… let’s just say, he didn’t take his time. lol.  It’s up again now, and loaded with decorations.  Cozy.  Except Sugar keeps eyeing that tree skirt like she wants to pee on it. 

                                                                      Here it is, in the light→

A couple of the decorations I bought when Doug was somewhere else for Christmas…

     

 

and  a couple are what the kids made in school, like this one that Little A made in Hawaii.  I think she was in Kindergarten here:

I made red and green M & M cookies.  They are gone.  lol.  I watched TV and that’s it.  My whole evening.  Poo.   How was yours?  I hope better than mine. heeee…! 

 

 Right now, I have such a multitude of feelings about things happening around me.  I wish for just once people had a fast forward thingie like in the movie “Click“

   where you could just fast forward around the parts of life that you want to live fast.  Or maybe not to live it, just to see it.  Just to rest my mind.   

I’d sooooo….just jump to my new job, my new home, our new life..if I could. 

 Not that it’s not fun with all the balls in the air.

Noobie #3 and other situations from today

    Rapid change.  Did you ever find yourself in a seemingly precarious place in life and think it was the end of the world only to find out,  that’s really where you needed to be to perfect some change in you….?   Hmmmnnn……

Today I trained noob #3 a little bit.  I really don’t feel comfortable calling her noob!  She is old enough to be my mom. 

 Quiet.  Soft spoken.  Motherly…grandmotherly? 

  Bless my hollow heart, I guess I will be the only one in the office joking and laughing, and being generally improper at work. lol. 

 Anyway, It will be quite a little bit of time before  Ms. “Darla” (not her real name) gets accustomed to working here and trained.

  She is very nice.  very nice indeed. 

 Besides this today,  I worked with a scattered mind.  Couldn’t really concentrate on one thing or another, although it was an easy day.

  The rain or cold front has made it in today and the sound of it rolling down the gutters and roof quietly, is pacifying  me. 

I’m having issues with Big A and  I need this bit of respite.  I will just say that Big A is on lockdown.   Tonight was her first night on grounding, and she spent a tearful, drama filled evening trying to bargain her way to a no grounding. 

 nup.  not gonna happen, gurl.  

  So there she went onto the patio in the back,  and I just thought she was going to get a fresh air.  10 minutes later, I came to find her sitting out in the rain, with lightning in the distance.  Her legs crossed indian style,  her head and neck and back soaking wet.   I mean I almost lost it. 

 Am I not supposed to train this chick not to do certain things without her emotionally blackmailing me? 

 I called her in the house and told her to change into dry clothes and then stay in her room for the night.     She talked to her big sister on the phone for awhile and that seemed to soothe her.    I don’t know what else life has in store for her and i.  i don’t know what else i can handle. 

 

 

Doug has washed his hands of trying to deal with her stubborness (committing the same infraction over and over just because she doesn’t agree with the rules)    If he had his way, he’s want her grounded 2 months for this one.  So overboard!  ( i ended that discussion lest i say something i will regret a hundred years from now) 

I don’t really know how I am feeling, just that I’m weary tonight.  Thank goodness we have a veteran’s day holiday in the middle of the week.  that makes a great break up to the week.  I’ve been so tired lately.    TTYL. K?   Love and hugs,  SG ((()))). 

Weekly Humor Photo and Wednesday thoughts

 

Gotta admit.  I didn’t plan my appointment well. 

 Getting these girlies to the dentist was like…

pulling teeth.

*ta-dum-TA!*  (boo hiss)  lol 

 

 

 but having our mid morning appointment for all of us at the same time.  wow. 

 First off, kudos to the 64 year old lady with the soothing motherly voice who cleaned my teeth.  She was no less than amazing. 

 64 and still cleaning teeth… pleasantly.

  I want to be her when I grow up. 

 No wal-mart greeter for her, no ma’am.

  She talked in a low, soothing tone that gave me warm mommy fuzzies.   While the girlz had the younger hygienists.   Lo and behold. 

Them:  ”they each have a tiny cavity mom, but we can fill it while you’re here, no problem” 

aaaaghhh.  *sigh*

ME:  “Okay…go see Doctor Pain Big A!”

   That got a big laugh from the receptionists.

 

Back at work, just in time for lunch. lololol. 

My supervisor and stopped in the Physical Therapy clinic, where they were having open house…aka free food. 

  Doug had made some dish he knows with chicken, cabbage, and rice-noodles, and spring rolls that morning for this function. 

 

 He informed me that the kitchen was “woo-hoo”

 apparently man talk for effed up.  

“wrong answer, you…”  (public grin appearing)

 

 

After work, I methodically cleaned  the kitchen to perfection and took us all out to eat Thai around 6 in the evening.   Baan Thai has the best “fried” rice I’ve ever had. 

 

It’s full of fresh tomatoes, onions, green onions, egg, and chicken breast (if you want another meat you can have it)

  Their fried rice is possibly the one food dish I could eat 7 days a week and not get mad, and not many foods get that kind of review from me.

 

The house is quiet.  finally and it’s that “aaaahhhh yes!” kind of quiet you get when you’ve had too much stimulation all day. 

 Especially with the 2nd day of a hormonally induced headache going on.

 

 

  Work wasn’t hard today, but every once in awhile,  we get this high traffic day, where 30 people come in throughout the day, in and out and out and in…. there’s one very loud somebody with a sailor mouth that will come in and just grate on every last nerve you have.

  Oh yeah.  she’s a grown up, but apparently hasn’t learned ‘indoor voice’ as a kid.  She has one volume, and it’s “blast of whine”. 

 

 

   So, I hope tommorrow is fantastic for you.    I hope you are doing more than surviving the day.  I hope you somehow receive the vibe of friendship from SG here>  hug, kisses, huggggg, kisses.

Nite.

Do not taunt the OCTOPUS

Work was hustle again.  Boards,  award ceremony,  then…feeling puny.   gah!! took the last 3 hours off.  against my better judgement.  But I’d rather rest then get really really sick. 

 Someone came in to the office yesterday, forcefully coughing with fever etc… I hate when people do that, but he was a Soldier, and I’m not so much a germaphobe. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~seriously, I made some good enchiladas tonight.  How do I know they are good?  the MAN will always comment like this:

How did you make this?

As if I “accidentally” just happened to make some great food…lol…and that I haven’t been cooking for about 25 years.   btw, i take that as a compliment from him.  if he follows it with:

this is delicious

then my ego might make my head explode.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Big A

 

 (Yes, please.  Visit her today/tonight. 

 Love on her. 

A girl with a lot to say.

  She’s been waiting a long time to say it to more than just her mom. 

Hey, can you blame her?  Teenagers never like talking to their parents, but gravitate toward others:

 

Maybe you can help her solve this mystery that’s been rolling around in her mind.

www.bigasjournal.wordpress.com

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An email blurb from Big A’s school yesterday:

“at last count there were 75 kids absent from school due to illness…”

 I think at this point, they need to close the school for a day to detox.  What do you think?

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well what the frak?  Monday night football, and Brett Favre night apparently, but that’s beside the point.

  There was a point in the game where a penalty was called for….TAUNTING?  

Are you friggin kidding me?    Now, oops I let it out the bag,  Sweetiegirlz does not know much about football, but I enjoy watching it.

 

I just can’t believe that “taunting” is a penalty offense in a

 big- bad -man- sport- like football,   and in hockey, they get to beat the shit out of each other.  gah!

–sissies!

now, “octopus taunting” …there’s a real penalty. Ha!

 

 

 

 

 

What’s wrong with this picture, and would you be willing to fix it?

Everyone has a workplace unless you’re self employed. 

  In every workplace in which customers are served…any kind of customer,  people come in see the outer shell of the work place.  First impressions are everything in customer service.

  You either give someone a good experience, or you suck.

 

 

 

  There’s also a deeper,  second layer of  any workplace. 

It’s only seen by people who work there,  a sort of behind the scenes, if you will.  There are quirks…and jerks.  There are policy makers, and policy breakers. 

 

 

 

 This is what most of any public does NOT see, and depending on how good your work place,  the degree to which the customer service  is affected by these behind the scenes work place quirks and bumps comes out in the way you interact with your customers. 

 

 

 At work,  SG is all business, with  a whole lotta lighthearted frosting on top.

 

 I try to make myself  treat others how I would like to be treated.

  Notice I said “make myself”. 

 Because sometimes it’s really hard to be sweet to folks who are demanding when they see your desk piled high and your phone ringing, and bam,

 I need it now, okay now, nooo…like yesterday. lol.

 Hop to it (my need is more important than the needs of the 100 other Soldiers here in this facility.)

 

 

 

Does anyone know anyone like that at  your work? 

 

 

   To top it off, we’re a worker short in our office.  (soon to be filled)  

  When I am doing my paper pushing,  we have an open door.  Anyone can walk in.  That’s the nature of the beast with a customer service.

  You do both the general office work, and you serve incoming people. 

 

 

 

   What I wouldn’t mind here is a whoooole lot more communication and toleration by people when it comes to coming in and seeing one,  s-t-r-e-s-s-e-d out individual in a 3 person office working  hard  and not being able to “read” that there was actually a reason the person CANT get up and do something for you right-that-instant. 

  

 So you prolly guessed it was that kind of monday today    2 steps

forward and 3 back.   

and people just kept coming right in the door, one after another….

 

 

  (“If I were human, I believe the correct response would be ‘Go to Hell’” –

 Spock’s response to a Starfleet summons Star Trek VI)

 

 

  heeeeee!! but I didn’t say that.  I kept my cool. 

 

 

Until…. the just under the surface, nice and polished kind of customer service, imploded.  

I said, I  kept my cool, K?  but sometimes you gotta be the bitch to get people to respond to something so obviously wrong. 

 Call it an office  peon initiated, protocol makeover, or whatever. 

 

 I went to the proper channels with my tactful email with the underlying bitchiness, that was barely perceptible,   and said basically, 

 ”LOOK.  this is how it is.  this is how it needs to change.  Consider this my first communication with [you all]  I will go higher until certaing things are fixed and not broken anymore.  

 

 

  You, who have a “behind the scenes” type of workplace…. if you see something “broken” do you try to fix it?    See?  it feels good and bad at the same time, huh? 

C-ya tommorrow.  love SG.

Juggling Is Only Fun When You’re at the Fair

*a juggler from the Kansas City Chalk and Walk festival last weekend.   I had fun talking with him.  He says that people always ask him if he juggles bowling balls, or flaming things, or knives.  The answer is ‘no’, he does not. 

 

The camera battery died right at the start of the ceremony this morning.

   A room full of important people. 

 I think I might’ve said “phuck” out loud I don’t know. 

 But in any case,  I had a hunch this morning to bring my OWN camera to work at the last minute!  Why I never follow these hunches is beyond me!

  So,  I went out of the room.  No sense pretending to take pictures right?  I mean the Big Guy only gets a  medal once in a career right?  (yes. unfortunately yes.)  I wanted to cry…  (arrggghhh) 

  Another Officer came out to the place where I had tried unsuccessfully to hide. 

 ”They’re kind of waiting on you to take pictures.”  he tells me. 

 I put on my big girl panties:  “camera is dead.  Please, see if so and so can get a camera.  I can’t do anything with this one” 

 Somehow a camera is found.  Life went on.  This wasn’t the first faux pas this morning. 

  Out of about 20 important things we were responsible for, one had a typo, I had to type another at the last minute and have it signed

 (picture Sweetie running into big wig office breathless “will you sign this”  yada yada)  I think it would have made a good deodorant commercial.  How to screw up under pressure…lol.  

  Then  someone insisted some other paperwork was missing when it wasn’t.  So rush rush, find the paper, or rather NOT find the paper. 

  “Oh Sweetiegirlz  we have it ,we do have it, we have it, nevermind…”   sure.  easy for them to say.  They weren’t sweating their hiny’s off!  

  I think I am too old for this… 

Humor Photo of the week~to prep you for the chick rant

*a dumpster is somehow, not so “trashy” when it smiles back at you.

 

 

Yes, well, among other things I spent a relatively painful evening flopping like a fish trying to get comfortable on my bed.  I had a pain in my right side back.  It persisted. 

  I whined.

  Doug rubbed my back.  

It got worse.

 

Doug insisted having sex would make it all better  that we go to the emergency room. 

He got mad when I did neither.

  I finally took some 800 mg. motrin and an anti-anxiety med.  when I woke up, it was gone, and I was groucheeee. 

 Not like Oscar the grouch… more like Oscar the Bitch. 

 

  No sleep and Sweetiegirlz = a bad cocktail.

  

  At work,  the day before, I had 200 time cards waiting to be punched in the computer.    Almost 10 minutes after we opened for business, a staff member brought a person to be inprocessed to me.

 

 

   Now usually I am very nice.  (stop laughing, I AM!) 

 but this person didn’t notice the time cards or my 20  other things I had to do in no particular order.

  My supervisor however would be coming in within a few minutes and I knew she’d have time to inprocess her.  I begged off, asking the staff member to bring back the new person in 20 minutes at 8 a.m.  

  She’d handed me a couple of ID cards a moment earlier, and now LIL miss unprofessional snatches them back out of my hand

“You know what!! she went off, “I don’t understand why you can’t inprocess someone, we’re paying this lady to do NOTHING for 30 minutes while she could be inprocessing.” 

 Not only did she say this in front of the new person, but she also caught my boss at the door, who apparently didn’t give her a satisfactory answer because she repeated what she’d said to me, and more mean things,  and then walked out in a huff.  

The Evil twin  in me wanted to stand on top of my desk and launch myself at her like the WWE main event, but I’m not a fan of getting fired, so I sat there… with my mouth open. 

  20 minutes people!!!  that’s how long “MISS UnProf” would’ve had to wait. 

  20 minutes.  Go get a cup of coffee and some Xanax.  You need it. 

 trust me.  You do.

   Today, the next day, Miss thing scowled at me in the hall.  People are soooo sweet until they perceive some pissin off has been done to them, eh?  cue the O’jays music*BACK STABBERS
(What they do!)
(They smile in your face)
All the time they want to take your place
The back stabbers (back stabbers) 

 

Not only did miss “UN” then go to my Boss’s boss and complain,  she neglected to tell my boss’s boss how unprofessional she was in front of this new person (twice)  how’s that for leaving shit out of a conversation? 

 

 

So much dang drama in this place.  Crap.so then today the back pain came back…  

 

 

And there is Me at the desk.  whining.  Finishing time cards.  Went home to sleep for 2 hours before my appointment.

 

  They took X-rays.  They wanted Pee.

 

  And I know I blogged this before, but it is so very weird to be treated medically by people you know very well.

  I mean you get treated great but it’s a little weird for me, gotta tell ya… 

 

They see you at your desk,  next thing they see you in an x ray gown. 

  They go over paperwork with you about their career,

 the next thing, you’re handing them your pee in a cup… very weird.  

 

 

We went swimming this evening.  It was a nice change of pace.   the four of us.  relaxing in the water, the day behind us. 

 Tranquility is a hard drug to find. 

Dental floss and bubble gum

I felt good going to work but looking rather “lint-y” dressed in all black and ten minutes late. 

 

 

 I race my boss to work almost every morning.  This morning, I was in fact late and caught red handed with a burger king bag and a giant coke. 

 

 crap.  I laughed and looked at him dead in the eye, “YOU’RE LATE” I-told-him. 

He laughed and asked me “I’m late?” 

 

 

  More time cards today.  Grumpy me, puts them together alphabetically in binders

  for easy access later on.  Each one is in it’s own document protector.  I’m organized and I’m a document protector freak.  OK? It is a little overkill, but then hole punching seems to give the paper a reason to tear and hang all crooked.

 

 

 Again, the day goes quickly, and again, I turn my back on my workout.  

 I seem to be so flippin emotional lately.  I want someone to hold me right now.

 

 

  I just feel like no one in the world really understands that I have literally made my own heart hard with putting my own feelings  last and on the back burner all the time.

 

  If people only knew that the outward confidence I show to them is all just a show, that if anyone pulled me aside and said they could see through my shitty act that I would love them forever… but no one does. 

 

 No one ever figures it out.

 

  Today, an officer came in for me to help him with something.

  He notices all my pictures on my desk and notes:  You have a beautiful family, you all look so nice together”

  I wanted to cry and bury my face in his shoulder.

 

  What I have is a beautiful family held together with dental floss and bubble gum and running on high octane bravado. 

Why did the Hen cross the Hallway?

*if you’re looking for SAPCC Challenge, it’s the post before this one.

I’m not sure I can get through this blog without  sounding like a complete hormone laden shrew, but never the less.  Here it is. 

 I had a bad day at work.  Wow.  I know those happen. 

 

 

 i’ve always prided myself on staying level-headed in most circumstances.  But today.  Today….Wow.

 

 

  Not long ago,  My boss added something to my job description, almost overnight. 

I was pretty much what they call “Voluntold” to do it.  (which is Volunteered and Told)

 It was putting people’s time cards (aka PAY) in the computer.

  

 Okay the description says:  “assists with time cards as time permits. As part of the MANY things I do.

 

   therein lies the problem.  Suddenly Sweetiegirlz is not assisting with anything, she is doing. Doooooing the friggin time cards.  Herself.  

 

 

Due to the person who usually did them is leaving.  Are ya with me so far? 

 I have not been a stellar “time card putter inner so far.”  To put it mildly, I suck.

 

  Also there are some of these where I work: 

They really don’t give a “cluck” if I’m new at this.  All they can do is friggin’ talk about me like a red-headed step child,  who’s not potty trained. 

 

Which is really weird, because i have so little contact with 2 out of the 3 of them that I can’t even understand why they do this. Most of the time I leave them alone, Unless i absolutely have to come to them for work purposes.  In other words, I don’t hang around shooting the breeze in their offices. 

 

 It doesn’t matter if one of those “hens” has been doing time cards for  years.  All she can really do is focus on the fact that I suck at it.  I’m sure that those smug hen lips went home smiling everyday this week. She has something else to talk about other than her soap operas I guess.

 

  On top of this is my regular work load.  Paper upon paper, board upon board, appointments after appointment, after training, after….well you get the idea.

 

 

  At last count, there were over 50 things that I do, alone, in the office. Other noobie left in the beginning of February for a new job.   

I’ve been to my boss, who, by virtue of his own work load would no doubt offer this one piece of advice.  JUST DO IT. He has told me: “don’t worry, just learn the job, this person doesn’t sign your paycheck… blah blah blah”   

 

Training on this  has been minimal if anything. 

 Can’t you smell the set up for failure? 

    Everything else about today was nice.  Everything. 

 

 

I worked out.  I didn’t eat Burger KING. I got complimented on my professional dressing at work (“you look like a lawyer”)

 

   The weather was awesome (almost 6o degrees, due to be 70 tommorrow)  None of that matters right now. 

 It all came to a screeching halt when I overheard those “cluck”in’ hens talking shit about me.

 

 

 It brought back some very nasty school hood memories,and a conclusion:  It’s really hard for people to change the way they really are isn’t it?   How far off are the “hens” from the school bullies of the day? 

 

 

And to think that two years ago, the only worry I had at work, was whether or not we were gonna get robbed on my shift. 

  

Vent Or Confront?

It’s JUST a job!  Okay.  No it isn’t.  It’s some where that you have to spend 8 hours of your life for 5 days a week.  You want it to be pleasant but then~the co-worker, or supervisor from hell comes along.  You swear that the person was PLACED on earth to irritate you!

 

Well are you aware that there’s really only 2 things you can do in a situation like this?  (that doesn’t involve quitting every job you get of course)

 

Vent

to a 3rd party when the situation is petty, you might be having a bad day, or the person involved might be having a bad day.

 Vent to someone you can trust only, and no one who will spread it around as gossip.

 Be cautious about how many TIMES you “vent” to a supervisor.

  You can come off as trifling, petty, silly, and unable to play nice with others.

 Venting involves more than just talking to someone about the “evil bee-otch” who ruined your day. 

Gym workouts, journaling or blogging, prayer and meditation are all forms of venting.

 

Confront

when the other party is making your daily work place/home place a total mess. 

 Confront directly and involve no others.

 Make sure to use tact, and not use emotions.

  Don’t confront someone about issues unless you have tried to remedy them within yourself, such as letting bothersome “comments” roll off your back instead of getting mad.

 Don’t confront someone when you are in a bad mood.

Confront with facts only, not, “I FEEL like you’re sabotaging this project on purpose, because you hate me”

 If unsatisfactory results (person is blowing you off without acknowledging the problem) come from confrontation, record the confrontation results, (just the facts) and then do some problem solving with peers or supervisor or even higher.